not stuck I’m Hiding

You don’t wanna hang me
From my feet
Like a Christmas time piñata from a dollar store
And swing me like a meth head in love
You just really don’t want to open me up

A mani/pedi won’t clear away my neuroses
I’d have better results
Taking a shit
I don’t need counseling
Or hospitals
Or
Cookies and juice
You really better not
Open me

Being closed is my success in action
I use a hot glue gun
To adorn my brow in cheap plastic jewels
It’s how I roll
It’s how I run
If I’m big enough to disappear
From ALL the monsters
I must be huge in Europe

I’m no longer afraid of cliché’s
Though I still have my serious doubts about
Toaster ovens, vaporizers, bug zappers, microwaves
And fans.
Let me stay in the attic

It’s better for us all

Scars

they tell me

to turn my scars

into ink

and let the ink, really

have it’s way with the page

it’s not just my words

I’ve been on a quest for truth

lately, and

my voice seems to be caught

in the middle of my tummy

and these are

angry, pointy, hurty

words

I’ve struggled with the idea of getting my face tattooed

but I’m not so convinced

any ink I create

could be permanent

Take me you sexy page

scars and all

Because, I plan on getting comfortable.

It sucked that I had to miss the Cherry Bleeds Reading.  I wanted to go but Dave had to work late and Brian wanted to leave sooner…gah.

I have not had internet in over 3 months. not in my pad anyway.  Pics of the new pad soon.  Not sure if I should keep this site up.  I’m painting a lot.  Writing a little.  But I do miss the handful of true friends I have and communicate on the machine that will eventually destroy us.

I wish i had said this first, but I didn’t, Hunter S. Thompson did:

‘At the same time, I shared a dark suspicion that the life we were leading was a lost cause, that we were all actors, kidding ourselves along on a senseless odyssey.  It  was the tension between these two poles - a restless idealism on one hand and a sense of impending doom on the other - that kept me going.

–from the Rum Diary